Watching the Void

Prepare Yourself, Girls.

I wonder if there really is such a thing as reincarnation. Well, I do know one something for certain, if there is then I am coming back as a man next time! I am sick and tired of being a girl; everything is just so hard and it really isn’t fair!

We are expected to be these pretty little creatures that flit around daintily merely for the pleasure of men. But men don’t know the half of it! We girls actually go to an enormous amount of effort to look so nice. Most boyfriends seem to think that women just wake-up complete with lipstick, foundation and mascara.

Think about going out for instance; obviously it is going to take longer for a girl to get ready than a man. We take an awful lot of pride in our appearances. They may be quite happy slobbing around in a T-shirt and jeans, but for us that just will not do. If we did get ready as quickly as they do then we would look a bit of a state…

Perhaps they believe we are super-human? They seem to think that we can juggle housework, kids, careers and a love-life without the slightest delay. Well, here is some news, guys; we can juggle housework, kids, careers and a love-life, but it sometimes takes a bit longer!

I’m pinning all of my hopes on this ‘coming back as a man’ idea. I’ve got it all planned out! I will be spending loads of time down at the pub and when I do come home I want to sit and watch the rugby without the slightest interruption! But I will make one concession; when I am going out with my girlfriend, I’ll let her get ready without complaining about how long she is taking…

I am about to leave but I totally need to inform you all about the incredably liberal art exhibition that I saw in Clapham this past weekend, it was basically a huge hall with loads of shutters in it. Very interesting!

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England’s Biggest Heating Bill.

I think that I may have inadvertently stumbled upon a conspiracy to do with global warming…

According to this news story we are actually preventing a mini ice age by releasing loads of Co2 emissions into the atmosphere! If this is true then it is no wonder why our government don’t want to do a lot to change anything.

You don’t know what I mean? Well, let me get to the point; at the moment, if you are claiming benefits or you are a pensioner, you get a ‘cold weather payment’ if it is below freezing for seven days running. If we have a mini ice age then it could end up costing the government quite a bit of dosh…

It seems to be really difficult to find out just how many people in Britain are claiming benefits. I have done some maths but have had to leave out people who are claiming such things as Income Support, Disability Living Allowance and Incapacity Benefit. If I knew how many people that involved then it would make a massive difference to the total figure!

In the UK there are –

· around 11.58 million pensioners.

· around 2.49 million people who are unemployed.

· A cold weather payment is £25 a week.

If we were living in an ice age then I would guess that it would probably be below freezing every day… If so, we are talking about anyone who is eligible for a cold weather payment to receive £1,300 per year.

That is a lot of firewood. Mind you, we would need it!

So, how much would it cost the government if they had to pay out this much to everyone on the dole or over pension age? Well, we are talking about a bill of around £18,291,000,000 per year (if my maths are correct…).

I am starting to understand why they are not doing more about climate change now! That would be a lot of giro’s to send out each week. OMG! I hadn’t even thought about their postage costs!

Finally, it is time for my incredible web link of the month. I have recently came across upon this article called Enigin PLC, not only is this company great at energy savings partnerships, but I am really loving this article as well. I think you guys would really like this one!

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